When Almost Everything Went Right
by LightTheJeenius
Summary: Ouran AU where almost everything is okay but Haruhi doesn't exist, Light's is very obviously a girl, and Pokemon Go ruins lives.
1. Pokemon Go

**A/N: I need something to do to stop myself from trying to bleach my hair again.**

* * *

Every single day the host club could see a girl standing in front of the open doors. She was always on her phone either screaming in pain or fangirl screams. The only reason why they never asked security to get rid of her was because she never actually did anything to disturb the club...that much.

To say the host club wasn't curious would be the biggest understatement of the century. Surely this girl wanted to be a guest, right? Every girl in the school wanted to be a guest of the host club. Just look at them!

She was probably just some shy fangirl who couldn't work up the courage to meet her senpai's right? Yeah that was TOTALLY it. There was no way it could possibly be anything else. Otherwise she wouldn't be there.

"We should probably just give her what she wants and then she will leave." Hikaru said.

"Or become one of our paying guests." Kyoya said, with his glasses glinting from some unknown light source.

"Don't put it that way. She's our guest. Our job is to make her happy. Not to make her leave or take her money." Tamaki said, appalled by the behavior of his fellow host club members. "Regardless, let's go see what she wants."

Tamaki started marching towards the girl, leaving the rest of the host club to watch in awe. Tamaki was being serious for once in his lifetime. Holy shit this was going on their Facebook page some time soon.

They quickly followed behind their leader, wanting to see what the girl wanted too. After all, she could want to be ANYONE'S guest.

Tamaki approached the girl, breaking into one of his host smiles. "Hello princess." He said, offering her a rose.

When the other club members caught up to Tamaki, Kyoya noticed the girl was one of their classmates. And if he could deduce anything about her personality from his observations in the classroom, she was anything but shy. Or maybe her loudness was just some elaborate ruse to trick them. From the large 'hipster' glasses and the barely noticeable black mop of hair hidden under a hat, Kyoya knew who this was. He, of course, wasn't going to say anything and let this play out.

The girl blinked a couple of times quickly, before quickly turning to the host club. "Oh. Hey." she said.

Well maybe it was a ruse. She was not as loud as Kyoya expected her to be.

"Why do you always stand outside out club room? I can see how much you want to join in our activities. We always welcome new guests." Tamaki said, placing the rose in the girls empty hand.

The girl blinked a couple of times again.

"Sorry, what?" she asked.

"You know. The host club." Tamaki said.

The girl's face scrunched up, leaving her expression somewhat unreadable. Kyoya, the master of seeing through people's facades, had no idea what was going on.

"Sorry. WHAT?" she repeated.

Tamaki launched into his obligatory explanation of the host club, you know the one from the anime, posing dramatically, and acting like an idiot. His speech was cut short by the girl, who had burst out laughing.

"Did you think I was a guest here?" she asked, through an unladylike snort and giggles.

"You're...not?" Tamaki asked, his eyes turning gigantic and full of sparkly tears.

"But you stand out here every day. You expect us to believe you're not one?" Hikaru asked, sounding like this snooty prick he is.

"Listen. I'm just the exchange student from Canada, I had no idea this was even a club. Maybe you were too far to see 'em but I've been wearing headphones while walking around the school every day. I've never been much for socialization clubs." the girl explained.

Tamaki's mood took a complete 180, and he jumped up and down gasping at the revelation.

"So you must be Light Minasae! Wow I've never met a Canadian before." he exclaimed. the other excitable host club members were jumping along with Tamaki, amazed by the sheer foreignness of the Canadian.

Meanwhile, Light stared at them like they were all insane. "Yeah. And you're the weird kid who pulled roses out of his asshole in the middle of class. Charmed." she sarcastically replied.

The comment flew right over Tamaki's head, and was left unnoticed. Forever.

"Miss Minasae, if you weren't here to be one of our guests, not to sound rude but, what exactly was your purpose of being here?" Kyoya asked.

"Oh yeah. I've been walking around the academy because this place is HUGE, trying to catch some Pokemon. Your club room just happened to be a Pokestop so I was kind of just camping out here." Light replied, showing the boy her iPhone.

Kyoya looked on the slightly cracked screen to see a strange looking virtual tower with a large purple circle surrounding a smaller purple circle on the top. There was something pink floating around the structure, and tiny virtual animals littered the bottom. Close to the tiny animals was a human girl, probably her avatar.

He produced a black book out of nowhere, and wrote down something inside it.

"Sorry about not knowing this was your club room. I'll try to be quieter next time. But hey, you guys are pretty dope. Maybe one day I'll actually come to your nerd club." she said, looking down at her phone again.

"It's not a nerd club. It's a HOST club." Kyoya sighed.

"Nerd club it is!" Light replied, grinning widely.

"If anyone here is a nerd it's the one who still plays Pokemon." Kyoya huffed.

"Wow you got me. I have seen the error in my ways. Teach me the rules of Tralalalalaleday and I'll be proper just like you." Light sighed, pretending to swoon.

That was the moment, the other members knew someone was going to murder someone else. Most likely Kyoya because he was being the massive douche and Light seemed pretty chill with the whole thin going on.

"If you come to our club we can teach you the way of being a proper lady." Tamaki said, handing her another rose.

"This way you can get your Pokething and have some people to talk to!" Honey said, showing that he was in fact there.

"Maybe I will, short stuff. Maybe I will." Light said, pulling out a pair of earphones and plugging them into her phone. She pocketed the phone and shoved one of the earphone in her ear.

"By the way I know who you are. I don't live under a rock. God I can't believe Tatania likes you." Light said, pushing the other earphone into her ear.

Light walked away, smiling like a little shit and humming I Need U, while the host club babbled in shock.


	2. Agust D

**A/N: Since apparently you wanted more.**

* * *

Tamaki was determined to get Light into the host club. It was his one true calling in life.

Okay maybe that was a bit of an overstatement. He had a bunch of other things he was obligated to do, but for some reason none of them were taking priority at the moment. Oh Tamaki. **_forced pained laughter_**

Many months of being ignored and getting judging stares passed, yet none of the host club was successful in tricking *cough* convincing Light to visit the host club. Ever.

In fact, her Pokestop adventures seemed to become less and less frequent, until they stopped all together before summer break.

"I wonder what happened." Honey said, while stuffing another piece of cake in his mouth.

"Maybe she got tired of playing games meant for children." Kyoya replied, saltier than the Pacific Ocean. See, after their first encounter Kyoya decided he did not like the girl. For whatever reason the world compelled him to ( **being whipped for Tamaki** ) he still tried to get her into the club anyways. Why is he salty? Ehhhhhhhhh.

"Whatever her reasoning may be we _will_ make her our guest before the beginning of break! We just have to follow her and see what she's doing. Then act as if we were just casually passing by so she doesn't get suspicious!" Tamaki declared, completely ignoring Kyoya's salt. Everyone ignored his salt. Little do they know that just makes him saltier.

And so Operation We Don't Have Enough Time To Make A Good Operation Name, or Operation WDHETTMAGON, was underway. The host club was the sneakiest club of them all. This would be so easy. She will never notice. Especially since she wears headphones all the time.

* * *

As the host club tried to stealth their way around the school, they didn't realize their actions were going to be very pointless. In fact, throughout their whole Metal Gear Solid experience, they never even found Light. Good job host club. You're fucking idiots.

Their journey was all for nothing. With Tamaki's small attention span, they soon went back to the host club room, assuming their mission would never be complete. After all, the girl that has clearly stated she does not want to come to their club was the one they were going after.

When the opened the club door, they were shocked to see the girl in question lying on one of the couches, holding her phone a little ways from her face and saying something in english.

"Oh my god! She's here!" Tamaki yelled.

"Kyoya why is she here." he then whispered.

Kyoya shrugged, because he knew the answer to that just about as well as Tamaki and the rest of the club probably did. He chose the creepily stare at the girl who was now making pained sounds.

"Miss Minasae...what are you doing here?" asked Kyoya.

"I don't know what to do with my life anymore. The part of me that had common sense has died." Light replied, letting the arm that held her phone drop to the ground.

"What's wrong princess? Whoever did this to you shall be condemned by God and Mori-senpai." Tamaki asked, rushing over to her.

Light shoved halfassed shoved him away, and grumbled something in english at him.

"What happened, Light-chan?" asked Honey.

"AGUST D HAPPENED! I'M DEAD!" yelled Light, before choosing to scream incoherently again. Somewhere in her screaming was, "MIN YOONGI WHY?!"

There was a short silence that filled the room.

"What?" asked Mori.

"Min Yoongi, or Suga, or Agust D WHATEVER WE CALL HIM NOW just released his mixtape and I'm dead. My soul is gone. Min Yoongi killed me. His mixtape has too many feels." Light replied, sounding like a deranged llama.

"You listen to mixtapes?" Kyoya asked, sounding disgusted.

"At least I don't watch gay porn like SOMEONE in the room." Light shot back, before whispering about the mixtape again.

Everyone turned to stare at Kyoya, all with looks of concern.

"Why would you assume that?" he asked, nervously beginning to sweat.

"You're laptop password is absolute shit. tamakisBitch111 couldn't have fooled anyone." Light replied.

"...I have no idea what you're talking about." Kyoya said, looking away from the rest of the club.

The twins smiled all sneaky sneak, and tip toed _by the window_ to Kyoya's laptop that he so foolishly left out.

"Is the T capitalized?" asked Kaoru.

"No but the B is. No spaces or apostrophe." Light replied.

Kyoya looked ready to murder someone, as the twins typed in what was hopefully not Kyoya's password.

Spoiler alert: it was.

Hikaru and Kaoru looked back up at Kyoya, after managing to enter his laptop. They shook their heads in disappointment, in regards to the password. How they hadn't thought of it before...no one knows.

Someone in the room coughed, trying to get the subject to change.

"So why are you here again?" asked Honey.

"Like I said before, Min Yoongi killed me." Light replied.

"Do you need a hug?" Honey asked, making puppy dog eyes.

"I need to hug Yoongi and tell him he's an amazing human being." Light replied, staring at a picture of Yoongi on her phone.

She then proceeded to jump off the couch and shove her phone into the faces of the host club, screaming. "LOOK AT THIS SMALL ADORABLE MAN! FEAST YOUR EYES ON HIS PERFECTION! I NEED TO PROTECT THIS CHILD FROM ALL THE WRONGS IN THIS WORLD!"

They all had to admit, Yoongi looked pretty damn fine. How this guys was older than they were though, no one really knows. Other than he was born before them.

That was the day the host club turned into the Min Yoongi Protection Squad. At least they got Light to join them.

Too bad she was their supreme overlord now. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 **A/N: If you hadn't notice by now, I'm a BTS fan and Suga's mixtape, Agust D, came out on Monday. It killed me because of the lyrics in track 7. Someone please Save Me.**


End file.
